Seventh Grade


One day I was sitting innocently in my 7th grade English classroom, doing my work, when a woman came into the room, dressed in such a manner that I was forced to deduce that she was clinically insane.
She wore a wide green hat that resembled a pancake, a short white cape and voluminous dark green trousers. Tights and black sneakers finished off her ensemble.
So here I am wondering what would possess this older woman to dress up in such a ridiculous costume, when all of a sudden she announces that she’s advertising a student show with the local community theatre.
I had no idea what she was talking about, and yet I auditioned for the bloody thing and for some reason, despite the fact that:
A) It was my first play EVER.
B) Not only that, but it was SHAKESPEARE.
C) All the other girls were better than me.
D) Nearly all the other kids at auditions were HIGH SCHOOLERS (eeeeeeep!!!)
E) How on Earth am I going to memorize this speech?!?!
But I am alive and well today and survived to tell the tale of the Theatre Epiphany.
But now that I think about it, there’s not really much of a tale to tell. I memorized the lines, wore a funny hair net, slapped two people, kissed a guy, and said a super long speech. And at the end of it all, while I was taking my bows onstage amidst the applause of near a hundred people, I just thought, this is it. This is what I want to do with my life. It was like I finally found a purpose, something to prevent all those mental breakdowns where I thought I was completely useless. I’m learned that I’m not useless. I’m an actor.
Call me a drama queen all you want folks, I’ll just take it as a compliment.