Mean Teachers


One day, I woke up and my mouth was really super dry. So I got up and went to the fridge and I drank…tea, Pepsi, diet Coke, Coke…Mountain Dew, coffee, orange juice…apple juice, water, milk, Dr. Pepper…chocolate milk, PowerAde, and grape juice! And, FINALLY, my parched mouth was ALL better. Then I went back to my room, got my clothes, and went and took a shower. I got out of the shower, got dressed, and went to brush my teeth and my hair. Then I waited and waited for…breakfast. After breakfast, my parents tugged me outside and threw me into the back of our family car.
Then, horror, I was dropped off at my FAVORITE place ever: SCHOOL!!! Yea…kidding about that. So, I’m going to my 4th grade class taught by Ms. Thinksheknowsitall and, suddenly, excruciatingly, I get the urge to pee. Knowing that if I do go I will be late for class, I just go to class hoping the teacher will let me go later. So…I go to class and ask Ms. Thinksheknowsitall permission, and she says much to my utter discomfort, “Oh, well, why didn’t you go before class?”And I kindly respond by saying, “But Ms. Thinksheknowsitall, if I went I would have been late for class, and since I LOVE your class there is no way that I want to be late to it!” and silently crossed my legs. She replies with, “Well….okay…but now you must wait until…LUNCH”. I was upset, frustrated, and…pissy…but I reluctantly agreed.
So, I’m sitting in class and we’re doing our math, which is fine because I am good at math plus it keeps my mind off of having to use the bathroom Then we move onto Social Studies, which is okay even though I’m not good at it; it keeps my mind off me wanting to pee really, really badly. However, when we start Science, it isn’t a normal day. We are having a lab day and, of course, the lab has to do with…water. It was making my bladder want to explode, but just as my teacher tells me I can go to the bathroom… It was too late. I had already done something I couldn’t take back; the smell of …”it”…filled the air.
I went to the bathroom in an attempt to clean myself up, but it wasn’t working. I made an attempt to call my mother, but, unfortunately, as she suspected after my numerous calls throughout the year to “Let me come home!” she did not answer. So I was forced to sit there in my wet, urine smelling pants. But then, luckily, the school secretary called Ms. Thinksheknowsitall and said “Such-and-such’s mom is here to pick him up.” I was so relieved to see her, but also was wondering why was she here? Had my teacher called while I was gone? Had she gotten the school to call? Neither of these was true; to my dismay, I had a doctor’s appointment. I tried to tell my mother about my accident but she said she didn’t have time for all of my shenanigans.
So we arrive at the doctor’s office, and I make another attempt to tell her but all she has to say to me is “Stop trying to weasel your way out of getting shots!” However, when the doctor called me back, he smelled urine immediately, and instantly thought something was wrong. He asked me what happened, and I told him all about it, but, of course (like all adults do), he only heard what he wanted to hear. All he had heard was “I had an accident…” So he assumed that something was wrong with me, I could hear him mumbling, “No, that can’t be right, he is ten. Why is he still having accidents? Ten year olds should be able to control their bladder better…No this can’t be correct…”
He then sent me over to the hospital to have an MRI done on my bladder. Reluctantly, because she knew she had been wrong, my mom took me to the hospital. Still, this whole time, I hadn’t gotten to change. We walked into the hospital and I am forced to wait in the waiting room. Then I get taken back to have my MRI done. They said everything was normal, except, I had a very severe rash from where all the urine was.
However during this whole ordeal, I did learn something. I learned that sometimes teachers can be mean, and not know what is best for you. So if you really really really have to go the bathroom before class, you probably should just go. The teacher might be mean and make you wait, which could end disastrously.